Love?

"Love is patient and kind;

love is not jealous or boastful;

it is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist upon its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrong,

but rejoices at right.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things."

~ I Cor. 13: 4-8

I have this poster hanging in my room "What is love?" Sometimes when I'm down or I'm frustrated, things are just annoying me I read it and it seems I always find one that I never saw before. This just happened to be it. It's been a very trying day. Now that the tears have subsided, I was so frustrated that I couldn't talk to him. I was so annoyed. It's human nature to falter. (I know I'm not the worlds most religious person, BY ANY MEANS) But I mean come on it's a given. I find myself, in times like these looking to one person, sometimes it's Debbie, sometimes it Jen, sometimes my mom or sister, sometimes my boyfriend. Then I started to think that you don't really have to "love" the person. (Though I find I love everyone, it just depends on my scale where you rank.) I feel like I've been very, jealous and rude. I strive to be patient and understanding. This week, I've focused mostly on me. What I needed and what I needed to do to get through and I still broke apart. (I'm not broken, I just lost a foot hold.) I miss my dad so badly sometimes, that I just have to cry and throw a fit. Then I remember what my mom always told me, "Susan, your just being greedy." She's right. No one should suffer for me, or what I want. "believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." I have to believe that what happened, happened for a reason, that I may not know yet, but a reason no less. I have to hope that something good will come of it. And I will have to endure the pain and void it has created for the rest of my life, but we all have our own holes we have to try and patch. Sometimes you have to put a new bandaid on it, after you clean it out, but it will help with the pain. "Wearing a face she in a jar by the door." We all have to wear a "face". We can't wear all our problems on our sleeves. Some just wear their "face" better then others.

~Wearing a face~