Sunday? Monday?

I am going to visit my boyfriend this weekend. I was orginally going to stay until Sunday. But my one friend down there has asked me to take her to King of Prussia, which is where she lives, to pick up her car. It's a long story. So I guess that I'm going to stay till Monday. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT! I think I might just be paranoid but I think there might be a little party in the planning, going on down there in good old Penn State. :) Eh, I'll just be happy to get to see my boyfriend and all my friends down there. :) It should be a great weekend! I'm so excited. ***bounces off walls***

I don't have class tomorrow, we have convocation here is a hint, I'M NOT GOING! I have so much work to do. I need to finish my math, read for myth and then read for history. I can't wait to get away for the weekend. It's going to be so nice not to have to worry about any of this garbage! Though the gas went up agian. So it's now 2.99, while that sucks mega nuts. I'm still going this weekend. It's my birthday and nothing is going to ruin it for me! YEA! I'm so totally excited. It's going to be such a GOOD time! Hurray!!!!!

Well now I guess I should have listened when you said you'd had enough, a little trick I picked up from my father in one ear and out the other. Why's life gotta be so tough? Yea that's me through and through.

It's really sad. My mom called me from work today and asked me to stay up to help her with her computer class. Silly Mommy!

~MORE LATER~

At The Root

I got on line this afternoon to find out that my boyfriends father told his mom, who hates me by the way, that I visit him and that I'm coming to visit this weekend for my birthday. So now he's worried that his mom is going to cut off his tution. I don't know what to do. I feel so awful. If I had broken up with him, if I had never told him that I liked him, he wouldn't be in this situation. If I hadn't visited he wouldn't be in a bad situation. I don't want to be the reason he loses everything he ever wanted.

These Words Threw some chords togetherThe combination D-E-FIs who I am, is what I doNo one's gonna let it down for youTry to focus my attentionBut I feel so A-D-DI need some help, some inspiration(But it's not coming easily)Whoah oh...Trying to find the magicTrying to write a classicDon't you know, don't you know, don't you know?Waste-bin full of paperClever rhymes, see you laterThese words are my ownFrom my heart flownI love you, I love you, I love you, I love youThere's no other wayTo better sayI love you, I love you...Read some Byron, Shelly and KeatsResided in over a Hip-Hop beatI'm having trouble saying what I meanWith dead poets and drum machinesI know I had some studio time bookedBut I couldn't find a killer hookNow you're gonna raise the bar right upNothing I write is ever good enoughThese words are my ownFrom my heart flownI love you, I love you, I love you, I love youThere's no other wayTo better sayI love you, I love you...I'm getting off my stageThe curtains pull awayNo hyper bowl to hide behindMy naked soul exposesWhoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..Trying to find the magicTrying to write a classicWaste-bin full of paperClever rhymes, see you laterThese words are my ownFrom my heart flownI love you, I love you, I love you, I love youThere's no other wayTo better sayI love you...I love you, is that okay...?


School is going to kill me. I swear. I have so much work. I can do it I think. I just need to read and get everything in order. By next week I hope that everything will be ok. I hope that everything will be back to usual. You know what I mean? Eh anyway....I'm tired and I have class in the morning.

~MORE LATER~

Read, Read, Read.....

Today was my first day of college classes. I totally love not having to go to school 8 hours a day and controlling my lunch and time. I had 4 classes today. 1 Tomorrow. I need to finish my politcal science reading and myth. I spent a majority of today working on history reading. Suck. Anyway....

My birthday is coming up. I'm going to see my boyfriend on Friday. I'm sure your all sick of reading that but suck butt! I'm excited.

I've been keeping in touch with some friends. I've made a few new ones I think. I hope it's a good time.....

~MORE LATER~

Day One

I'm so scared. Tomorrow is my first day of classes and I don't know what I'm suppost to do. I don't know anyone in my classes. My mom thinks that's great. I however do not. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I'm nervous. I mean I felt like this on the first day of middle school and high school. At least then I knew people I was with.

Scared and Sleepy.

~MORE LATER~

Birthday List

For all of you who will be seeing me in 5 days. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT! :)

I still haven't heard anything from Pizza Hut. My mom told me I should call them, she thought maybe they didn't give Jodie my message. I called, she was busy and I just said tell her I called and in the back ground I heard her yell. Tell her I'll call her later tonight or tomorrow. It's so dumb.

I can't believe that classes start tomorrow! BAH! Oh well. I'll get over it. I just hope I have some friends in my classes. You know how it is.....well I hope.

I'm so tired.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 3 years and 7 months!

~MORE LATER~

Pizza Hut

I told you guys a couple of days ago that I put in a bunch of applications. Well I got a call back today. From Pizza Hut. I'm hoping to be a waitress. Tips would be great. But I'm not going to just settle. I will work some weekends, but not everyone. This weekend and next I have had planned for a month and over a year. I guess I will talk to them when they call back tomorrow.

My birthday is drawing nearer. I'm really excited about that. I'm going to be 19 in 6 days! Though school is starting tomorrow. I'm so not ready for that. I'm going to see my boyfriend Friday after class. YEA ME! I'm really excited. And my family reunion is next weekend.

SLEEPY!

OH, AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!

~MORE LATER~

KennyWood

Ok so we went to Kennywood it sucked. The bands were mean and I don't care. Suck butt people! MY FEET HURT SO BAD! Kari and I played a game today. How many numbers of the opposite sex can you get. IT ROCKED! Though we did lose by two. The game was the highlight of my day.

SARAH HAD HER BABY! IT'S A BOY! HIS NAME IS KALAIB MALIKI! YEA!!!!!

Oh well, so sleepy!

~MORE LATER~

Lost and Alone

My boyfriend went back to college today. I'm so miserable. I'm going to Kennywood in less than 6 hours and I don't want to sleep. I honestly don't want to go. I also canceled my membership with Curves today. Cost me 30 bucks but oh well. I'm also concerdering getting a tatoo. Oh and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to hold a job and such this first semester. I don't know I'm going to talk to my mom.

I'm so tired. Crying to much. I really want to transfer. I really REALLY do.

~MORE LATER~

Work

My friend Kari and I went out job hunting today. Talk about stress. I DON'T WANT A JOB! Oh well. I have to grow up at some point. I think I would prefer it if I didn't have to work at night. Oh well, life goes on. I will wait and see if someone calls me back.

My birthday is getting closer and I'm going to Penn State for my birthday. It should be a really good time.

My boyfriend is leaving in T-minus 4:30 hours. I don't want to say that I'm heartbroken. But I feel like snot. I don't want him to go. I don't want to lose him. I feel like I'm losing my bestfriend. I know it's so sweet I'm going to give you all diabetes. WELL IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT STOP READING! No just kidding. Trying to entertain myself.

I really should go to bed. Honey, please don't forget to e-mail me. And please call tomorrow night around 10. While I'm going to miss you so much, I can't wait to get you back. I miss being able to talk to you, and seeing you when ever we want to see each other. I know that having a job is going to make it harder. But I will make it work I promise. I will be coming for my birthday I PROMISE! I will take care of it, if it comes down to it.

~MORE LATER~

Sugar Surge

Have you ever put a sea shell to your ear and "heard" the ocean? Well that's what it sounds like in my ear right now. Except there is no sea shell put up to my ear. I hate this. I with there was something that I could do, that anyone could do. I can't stand up for to long. Or I feel sick, trust me I'm paying for today. I don't know what to do. I just don't feel good. I know it's not my fault, I'm trying to get better.

Anyway, I met up with a friend of mine whom I haven't seen for probably 6 months. It was a lot of fun. Today was also her birthday. We had a good time.

My boyfriend is going back to Penn State tomorrow. (Tuesday) I don't want him to go. But I know he has to. I know he's excited to get back to his life. I love you babe. Maybe I will be able to come next year. We will see.

Matt. I hope you don't think that I have been telling you to go to band. Because I haven't. I just think that you will regret it, if you don't at least see what it's like. Then agian who am I to say anything about band. Frankly, who gives a damn what I think?

Anyway, my ear is really starting to hurt, so I'm going to go to bed.

~MORE LATER~

Broken

Alright, I give in. I'm so sick of trying to be strong all the time. I'm sick of pretending I'm happy. Let's face it, I graduated. Should I really be "participating" in band. It's not like I'm in band. It's not like I'm going to suit up and go on at half time. I'm just helping, set drill, getting to the nitty gritty. I don't know. I'm sick of pretending I'm happy about going to Pitt. Cuze honestly I'm not. I don't care if my mom thinks it's the worlds best law school. I'm not in law yet. It's just a title. Nothing more. My Ustation Disfunction is keeping me up. The name sounds complicated, the problem is painful. My body is telling me I'm tired, my ears are telling me your not sleeping. I feel like I'm failing my boyfriend. Even though he says I'm not. My birthday is in 2 weeks and he wants me to come visit him. I don't know if I should. My ideal birthday is cake and ice cream. That's it. I don't really want to much else. I just really like cake and ice cream. But I don't want to weigh him and bother him. And on top of all of that crap my bestfriend, who has scoliosis, I hope that's right, has to metal rods in her back has broken both rods not once, but twice. And now she has to have them removed. Like surgery again to have them taken out. Her surgery just so happens to be 3 days after my birthday. And it also falls on a Tuesday, and the same week as my family reunion. I don't think I'll be able to visit her in the hospital or till the following week. But she probably won't want people to bother her for a little while anyway. I'll figure something out. SO HAPPY FREEKEN BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Ustation Disfunction

I'm sure most of you are puzzled by the name of this. What it means in lamens terms is: my ear drum is bulging out. Meaning that the pressure inside my ear is not the same as the atmospheric presure. And it should be. It can take any where from 3 days to 3 months to fix. And it fixes it self. The doctor told me that the only thing I can do it take 2 advil a day and wait till it fixes. So 2 advil a day it is and I have my fingers crossed. Cuze it hurts, it keeps me up at night and so forth. Cross your fingers for me!

My boyfriends mother is driving him up a wall. I know he is so ready to go back. I know he is so ready to get away from her. But I know I'm so ready for him not to go back. I don't want him to go yet. But I know it will make him happy.

And as far as my college education. I'm going to fill out an application. If I get in I'm going. And if my mother doesn't like it, she can disown me. Because I would rather be happy somewhere else than stuck and not having any fun. Tell me what you think?

~MORE LATER~

Left out

I feel like I'm being left out. Everyone I know is going away to college. They are going to to college live in dorm rooms, meet people go to class. Me I'm just stuck going to class. I don't understand. My mom refuses to listen to why I want to go to school anywhere else. She thinks I should just be happy to be going to school. But the fact remains that I'm not. I want to be able to go away. She's not willing to listen or hear me. I feel like I should apply and if I get in. I should go. She makes me so mad. Maybe I should get my own loan and go. :'( And now my sister is siding with my mom. I'm going to visit my boyfriend for my birthday.

I'm also going to Kennywood on Wenesday, as a chaperon. It should be fun. I don't know who I'm going to hang out with. Kari. Jamie? I'm not really sure. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

I guess the idea of getting engaged has crossed my mind a little. Not nearly as frequently as it used to. I just feel left out. I shouldn't. Because no matter what there is nothing I can do to change my situation. I'm not sure I want to change it anyway.

I feel so alone. All I do is cry. I'm losing everything.

~MORE LATER~

Pittsburgh U it is

I came upstairs today. And I was in the kitchen and my mom was complaining like usual, and then she said, "so because I'm getting this loan, I'm paying agian so I guess your going to Pitt." So looks like my decision has been made for me. So I'm going to Pittsburgh U. HIP HIP. Ah hell I quit. I'm done pretending I'm happy. This sucks. I seriously thought I was going to be able to make this decision myself. To be a "grown up" and choose. But no, I'm stuck here. I have half a mind to say screw you and get a loan myself and go anyway. I'm sick of her pulling this shit on me. Now her excuse is, because "You keep me sane." I think that is total crap. She want's me to stay home because she needs me. I give up.

~MORE LATER~

Home Sweet Penn State

My boyfriend is leaving for Penn State on Tuesday. But today is the last time I get to see him before he goes back. I guess it didn't really set in until earlier this afternoon. I just started crying on him. He keeps saying that I, meaning me, will be ok. I know his going back doesn't affect him as much as it does me. He likes it there. He has a good time. He has friends and he can be himself. But I can't call him and I can't just drive 10 minuets to get him. :'( I know he likes it there. I just don't want him to go. :'( I feel like such a sissy. I just don't want him to go. :(
I know I have said that already. It was just so nice to have him home agian. I don't want to have to go back to driving 3 hours only to see him for a few days. I wish there was another way. I know he has to go, I just...I don't want him to.

~MORE LATER~

Hell in a Hand Basket

I CAN'T SLEEP! Yet again, I am up till 2 if not later trying to sleep. Except for I have to get up at 8:30. IT SUCKS! College is stressing me out. I'm not scared. Not by any means. The first day has be a little rattled. It feels so different that I don't have to be at school at 7:55. I don't have to be there until 10.

I feel so useless. I don't feel like I can do anything. I was at band camp today, I was trying to be helpful. I was trying to do something. Setting drill, helping the kids, showing them how to do things. But Pat's right. I have no right to be there. To help them, to tell them what to do or how to do it. I haven't changed anyone's life. I haven't helped anyone. I have never made anyone stop and think about what they did or said. I have never been able to touch anyone. I'm not like my sister, who makes people laugh, who people ask to go out and have a good time. I know I'm more serious and up tight. But if you had to give your father morphine shots and pain patches, watch "episodes" and last breaths wouldn't you be too? I've never wanted anything more then to help people. To make people feel like they can trust me. Friends who used to talk to me, don't anymore. I have become a failure. I have nothing. I know I shut my self up at home while my dad was sick. I know that's my own fault. But someone had to do it. It seems like sense then no one has wanted to have anything to do with me. My boyfriend is going back to school next Tuesday. My life has gone to hell. I wish I knew what to do.

Band Camp

So today, well, I went to band camp. It was fun. I didn't have to really do anything. I helped set drill and make sure that all the kids were doing what they were suppost to. I had a really good time. I also found out that one of my friends, who is a really great trumpet player, is suppost to be going to college this Sunday to be in a parade and stuff. But he doesn't want to do it. I know it's his choice, but I think that if he doesn't do it, he'll regret it. *Whatever you decide to do, I will totally support you, but I wish you would at least give it a shot*

I also talked to my friend who went to basic tranning. She had to come home because she has a stress break in her foot. But she is going to go back at week 7 to graduate next year. It makes me want to go and do it too. If she can do it so can I. I really want to go to basic's with someone I know. I don't know.

College. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. But trying to get into University Park is something that I've always wanted to do. Some more thinking will help with the answer to that.

~MORE LATER~

Chicken Salad

I went out to dinner with some friends agian. It's the first time I've seen my boyfriend in almost a week. What I guess you have to understand is that he's leaving to go back to State college soon. Though I really do think that I am going to apply to go there next year. I'm just really worried about my SAT score. It wasn't that great. I think that's where I really want to go to college. I'm going to do some more thinking.

I keep seeing all these specials on t.v. about conditions of children. Well, first there was my Neice Makalia. She had S.M.A. Then the boy whose skin fell off, and now Archie the 84 pound baby. It makes me worried to have kids. It scares me that my children would have to deal with some problem that I gave them. It would be my fault that they would be sick. I don't want to hurt my kids. I want to love them.

~MORE LATER~

Penn State U or Pittsburgh U

If I hadn't told you all before. I'm currently inrolled in Pittsburgh U. Only at the wish of my mom, because she "was" going to pay for it. On Friday she dropped the bomb, that I had to get a loan and pay it off after college. So, now the way I see it, if I don't want to go to Pittsburgh U, I shouldn't have to. I'm thinking about doing this semester and then transfering to Penn State U.

Reasons:

I really like it there.
I have friends there.
Yes, my boyfriend is there, but that's not a really good reason.
I like campus.
I have fun there.
I feel comfortable there.

Anyone out there have an opnion?

~MORE LATER~

Alex

Today I went to my Aunt's house to "babysit" her dog and her house. It's cool. She went camping so me and a friend of mine came to watch her house. It's been fun. We have been watching movies and t.v. making food. So it's been working out.

Going home for awhile tomorrow to work on the walls in my room. It's going to be cool. I think we might accually get everything done! HURRAY!

Is about all.

~MORE LATER~

Lost In Myself

There is so much going on right now. I feel so stressed. My neices birthday was on Monday and she died a few months back. And tomorrow my father has been gone for 2 years. I haven't really been myself latley. And I'm sorry to everyone who happened to be on the other side of my wrath. I promise that once I get through tomorrow, I'll be normal agian. I'm super tired now so I'm going to go to bed. Night night

~MORE LATER~

Chicken Broth

So I really want some chicken broth right now. I know that sounds so stupid but do I look like I care? * here's a hint.* * NO*

Anyway I went over to Deanna's house to help her get ready for the pagent and stuff. For the last 2 years she's been the first runner up. I helped her with her platform and I did her hair and stuff. She didn't win, at all. I feel awful. I feel like it's all my fault. She says she's going to try for another pagent. I'm going to stay a million miles away. At least then she's going to have a chance to win.

I don't know what else to say. I just feel like hell.

~MORE LATER~

Clams and Japan

So it's like 3 in the morning and I'm so tired. But what am I going to do? Nothing. You know why? Cuze there is nothing I can do. Anyway:

I feel like everyone is leaving me. My "twin" is going to IUP, my boyfriend is going to PSU, well I don't know where anyone else is going. But who cares. I just don't want anyone to leave. I'm not ready for this. I want to go back to high school. I'm not ready to be a college freshmen.

I don't know. I guess you can't always get what you want.

Yesterday was my niece Makalia's birthday. For you loyal readers out there you know that she passed away. But anyway she would have been 7. So Happy Birthday KK. And I hope that walking in the butterfly field is every bit as exciting and fulfilling as you thought it would be. I love you.

~MORE LATER~

Food For Thought

My boyfriend got home today. We have been talking. I'm not sure if I made him mad or if something else did. We were talking about engagement. He wouldn't tell me anything. He was joking of course. And so I said well I know what I'm not getting. I was joking completley and I think I pissed him off. I hope not. Cuze I was just joking around.

On a slightly lighter note. My mom and I are almost done building the walls for my room. We have one completely done. One completely framed and one still needs both. I'm hoping to be done soon. My room is in utter disaray. I want to get it all cleaned up and get back to normal life. So if anyone know's how to build a wall I'm all up for gettin 'er done.


As we grow up,we learn that even the one person that wasnt ever supposed to let you down probably will. You will have you heart broken more than once and its harder every time. You'll probably break hearts too..so remember how it felt when yours was broken.You'll fight with your best friend. You"ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing to fast, and youll eventually loose someone you love. So take to many pictures, laugh to much, love like you've never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

~MORE LATER~

Ken's Cell Phone

So today has been long and for the most part uneventful. My mom and I started to build walls. That has been the highlight of the day. I went over to my bestfriends house to help her take care of her sick nephew and neices. Her sister is in the hospital the doctors arn't sure what's going on with her, but we are all praying that nothing happens to the baby.

My boyfriend is coming home tomorrow. I'm so happy that he's coming home. I want to see him and touch him so badly. I miss the way he smells. I miss the way he likes to tickle me while I try and squrim away. I miss curling up with him and just cuddling. I feel like my whole life goes on hold when he leaves. Cuze if he's not with me, I don't feel like I have any reason to be happy. I love him so much. Anyone else feel this way?

~MORE LATER~

College calls

So nothing much has been happening today. I just kind of sat around. Well I went and worked out today. Today is day 5. My boyfriend has been gone for 5 days, and I have had nothing to do. I don't know what to do. He's going back to state college so soon, I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I've loved being able to call him and be like hey want to come over. And he's going to be 3 hours away agian. I don't think I'm ready for that. :'( I don't know. Though I think all of you out there in serious relationships know how I feel. I hate the idea. What do I do? I guess, I'll have to get used to it agian.

Sex, Engagement, and Marriage. Not necessarily in that order.

I don't understand. I have been thinking about all three so much latley. Let's start I guess with the begining. I'm in a serious relationship. Which as you all, well you should all know, I have been in for 3.5 years. Alright with that established. My boyfriend and I have been talking about engagement. Talking not acting, breath, PLEASE! He says that we could get engaged this Christmas, probably not this year just keep reading, but that we are more likley to next Christmas, like 2006. I would love to be engaged. Now when I think about this, I feel excitement, but scared too. I have always been someone who want's to make sure that I make all the right decisions before I jump into something. This is one of those things that you have to feel is right, there is no paper to say this is what you should do. Now don't get me wrong I want to be, I love him, and everything feels right.

Alright on to marrage. I have always had a slight problem voicing how I feel about someone in public. Now I know that sounds like a problem. I can do it. But will he still want to be with me after a couple of years? Will he still love me after a couple of months? Will I do something that is going to drive him away? Will I do something to make him hate me? Do I want to risk losing everything I have. Do I want to risk losing everything that I have built up in the 3.5 years, just to lose him because I did something stupid?

Sex. This is the one that scares me the most. While not having 100% proof is a little scary, and the prospect of losing the one thing I care about most in the world sometimes drives me to insanity. This topic, I don't know how to describe how I feel about this. While just about all my friends have had sex and most of them say it's great, I have a hard time going along with them. Sometimes I think that even after I'm married I won't want to. The whole idea is just scary. I....while I'll be married to a man, what if I do something wrong? I don't know I guess some more thinking will help with all these questions.

~MORE LATER~

Almost Home

I was in the car with my sister and cousin yesterday, and I heard a song that I hadn't heard in about 2 years. Almost home.

He had plastic bags wrapped round his shoes.He was covered with the evening news.Had a pair of old wool socks on his hands.The bank sign was flashing '5 below,It was freezing rain an' spittin' snow.He was curled up behind some garbage cans.I was afraid that he was dead.I gave him a gentle shake.When he opened up his eyesI said, "Old man are you ok?"He said,
"I just climbed out of a cottonwood tree,I was runin' from some honey bees.Drip dryin' in the summer breeze,After jumpin' into Calico creek.I was walkin' down an old dirt road,Past a field of hay that had just been mowed.Man I wish you'd just left me alone,'Cause I was almost home."Then he said, "I's just comin' 'round the barnBout the time you grabbed my arm,When I heard Momma holler 'son hurry up.'I was close enough for my own noseTo smell fresh cobbler on the stoveAnd I saw daddy loadin' up the truckCane poles on the tailgateBobbers blowin' in the windSince July of '55That's as close as I've been."
"Yeah, I just climbed out of a cottonwood tree.I was runin' from some honey bees.Drip dryin' in the summer breeze,After jumpin' into Calico creek.I was walkin' down an old dirt road,Past a field of hay that had just been mowed.Man I wish you'd just left me alone,I was almost home."I said, "Old man you're gonna freeze to death.Let me drive you to the mission."He said, "Boy if you'd left me aloneRight now I'd be fishin'"
"I just climbed out of a cottonwood tree.I was runin' from some honey bees.Drip dryin' in the summer breeze,After jumpin' into Calico creek.I was walkin' down an old dirt road,Past a field of hay that had just been mowed.Man I wish you'd just left me alone'Cause I was almost home."(Almost Home)"Man I wish you'd just left me alone, I was almost home."

And today I heard a song. Live like you were dying. The chorus goes something like:
I went Skydiving, I went Rocky Mountian climbing, I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named blue-manshoe. And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgivness I'd been denying. And he said I hope someday you get the chance to live like you were dying.

I don't know. I guess it comes down to not being ready to let go of any of this. I haven't had enough time with my boyfriend, I want to get married to him, I want to have his children. I want to live my life out with him. We talked about what if's today at youth, what if I died tomorrow? What would he do? Would he move on? Would he find someone else? I love him so much. I love you so much.

~MORE LATER~

Screaming From Above

I'm in my room and all I can hear is my little brother screaming in the living room. RRRRR.....it's sleepy time.

My mom bought the wood and panels to cover the walls for my room. That is this weekends big plans. It's so great! I'm so excited to finally have a total room, after about 3 years of tarps for walls and a curtian door. I think I will sleep much easier when I can lock the door at night and feel safe. It's going to be really nice. I think my mom and I can knock it out in about a day. I mean if we can get everything put up and then I can paint it. We will be done in no time. For real! I'm so totally excited. YEA!!!!!

My boyfriend is at camp this week. It really sucks, but I know he is having fun. So it's ok. I miss him so much. I love the idea of him going and doing his own thing. I hate it when boyfriends don't have lives because they think that they have to spend every waking second with there girlfriend. I love that he loves to spend time with me. Don't get me wrong. I just love that he loves to do things with his friends and spend time doing his own thing.

Oh and my outer ear infection in both ears is now a full blown ear infection in my right ear. So I'm totally on 2 medications to take care of it! NO FUN, NO FUN AT ALL!

Wow....it's so totally like 1. I'M GOING TO BED!

~MORE LATER~