Broken Promises

I know all of you who know me are going why are you not sleeping? Well, it is spring break so no worries about classes kids. No worries. I find that this is the only way to empty my head sometimes. And by that I mean when it's to late to call anyone to talk. Like right now. I'm having a hard time dealing with a promise that was made, over 3 years ago. I had a guy promise my father that he would take care of me, that he would never let anything happen to me. I don't care that he wants nothing to do with me. He was my father, I feel like I've let him down. I've always been "if you say it do it." I hate promises. I don't hate promises, I hate broken promises. I've had my heart broken. I was promised that would never happen.

Part of me hates me. I'm so completley crazy about Chris. He's perfect, or as close to it as you can get. Part of me is afraid to let him through the "brick wall," but the other part of me says that he won't hurt me. There isn't going to be a "yo-yo" game going on. I let him in and he hurts me, then I get over it and let him close again and he hurts me. There isn't going to be any of that. There hasn't been any of that. I trust him, I have no reason not to. He hasn't done anything that would make me believe other-wise. (So I just worked my way through that problem) I hate that he has to pick up my pieces, and put me back together. How do I describe what he does for me? He doesn't have to say anything to make me laugh or smile. (I know, it drives him nuts too) The little things, I guess the only way I can figure it out is that he pays attention to the little things. I've always thought the little things were always more important than spending ton's o' money. A card or roses? A card. A present or a hug? A hug. Make me see that you care, don't spend ton's o' money. *RAMBLING*

I think I've emptied my head out. I'm really tired, night kids.

~SLEEPING~