Left out

I feel like I'm being left out. Everyone I know is going away to college. They are going to to college live in dorm rooms, meet people go to class. Me I'm just stuck going to class. I don't understand. My mom refuses to listen to why I want to go to school anywhere else. She thinks I should just be happy to be going to school. But the fact remains that I'm not. I want to be able to go away. She's not willing to listen or hear me. I feel like I should apply and if I get in. I should go. She makes me so mad. Maybe I should get my own loan and go. :'( And now my sister is siding with my mom. I'm going to visit my boyfriend for my birthday.

I'm also going to Kennywood on Wenesday, as a chaperon. It should be fun. I don't know who I'm going to hang out with. Kari. Jamie? I'm not really sure. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

I guess the idea of getting engaged has crossed my mind a little. Not nearly as frequently as it used to. I just feel left out. I shouldn't. Because no matter what there is nothing I can do to change my situation. I'm not sure I want to change it anyway.

I feel so alone. All I do is cry. I'm losing everything.

~MORE LATER~