I was at a friends house today. Well, long story short they ended up getting into a fight and yelling at each other. Well, I was scared and he wasn't yelling at me. I don't think that my boyfriend would ever yell at me like that. At least I hope he wouldn't. I'm afraid to make him that mad. I never want to see him that angry. I want him to love me as deeply as he has these last three years, forever. But how do you insure that you never make someone that mad? How do you know that that person, will never lash out a hit you or abuse you? I guess you can't. I know. i just hope that he will always love me as much as he does right now. And that I never hurt him. At least on purpose.
I guess that bringing up marriage and engagement doesn't make things any better. I could see why he would never want to marry me. I would drive him nuts. I don't think he could stand to live with me for the rest of my life. I don't know how he can stand to be with me now. I don't know why he hasn't left me for someone who won't bring it up. Who won't drive him nuts about stuff like that. I don't know how that doesn't make him so mad at me. Sometimes it feels like he is though. Sometimes it feels like he's so mad that no matter what I talk about he'll yell.
Love will get you through.
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