Imperfections

I'm trying so hard to make him happy. But I fail. Everytime. Nothing is good enough, I either end up making him mad or just unhappy in the end. Why is it when I try to be a good girlfriend I end up failing. I'm not anywhere near right for him. In fact I don't really understand why he's still with me. I love him. I just suck at making that clear. I try to cuddle but I've already hurt him so it doesn't make things better. It just ends up making it worse. I don't know what else to do.......maybe just dissapearing would make things better in the long run? I guess I just don't know how to make him laugh or smile like I used to. I can't make him feel like there is nothing wrong, I can't make the world dissapear anymore. I want to make him happy, I want to make him smile, I just don't know how to anymore.....