Plans

So I guess things just arn't going to go my way. First surgery, then my 6 year old niece dies, and now I'm not allowed to be with my boyfriend, who goes to Penn State. I just wanted to spend a couple of hours with him Friday. Well my family did. He's been in town for almost a week and I haven't seen him once. I guess, I've never been good enough. Nor will I ever. I don't understand. I've I don't know what to say. I mean, I can't make him happy all the time like I used to. I can't make him smile like I used to. I'm not good enough. I don't know. I don't know why he stays with me. I can't see how he loves me. I'm not enough. Nor will I ever be. I wish I could be though.