Alright kids, I know that for the last couple of days I've been kind of on edge, up tight and really upset. I'm sick of people making me feel like I'm not good enough. I walked into my house today and instantly I was getting ignorance and hell. "I expect more from you." Just the way I wanted today to go. I ran into someone I didn't really want to, and words insued about a whole different topic. I had a nightmare last week that something happened and Chris called me and said he just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I shrugged it off as a bad dream. I guess it bothered me more then I was willing to admit. Things were said and I was really afraid that my dream was going to come true. I've never been so afraid to let something go. I've never been this happy. We all have bad days, I've just had a few in a row. I talked to Debbie and she and I talked about somethings and then Chris called and as soon as I talked to him, I felt like a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. I took a really hot shower and thought about a lot of things. Things look so much better already. I'm going to start cleaning my Grandmothers house for her while she is laid up. I'm going to get busy. I need to find something to keep me busy. I'm going to start working out more, I need to get back into shape, tone a little, mostly just strengthen my back. I'm going to set up a doctor's appointment for my back, because there has to be something seriously wrong. I think that is the only thing that is really on my mind right now. I just don't want something to be seriously wrong with my back.
Looking back I had a really good weekend, after I got done babysitting. Hanging out was just what I needed. I'm so warm right now and that makes me feel good too. I'm so relaxed, I guess I just needed to talk it out.
~relaxed~
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