Alone In The World

Did you ever feel like you were alone in the world? My little sister is out with her friends tonight, I'm home, and not because I want to be. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel like I'm being abandoned all over again. All my friends from school are going home, my friends from high school are still at school and I'm single. Anyone of those things alone would be ok, but they all happened at once. I hung out with my sister and some of our friends yesterday, I usually don't hang out with her and our friends, it causes weirdness sometimes. Anyway one of them was like it's weird that your hanging out, but I guess it's ok. I want things to go back to the way they were. I'm stuck at home, not because I don't have a car, or a ride, but because there is no one to hang out with. I feel like I have no friends. I have guys who found out I was single and instantly started trying to get into my pants. *Shakes head* Why do people look at me as a sex object? Why does no one see my mind or my opnions? My goals? There is more to me. So once again I feel alone. I would like to lose this little storm cloud over my head, but I'm always so damn cheery and happy, I think for once in my life I should get to be miserable. I don't like that when it's quite the memories seep in. I cry myself to sleep every night. I want to hate people, I want to be so mad, I want to yell at them and scream and throw a fit, but that's not how adults act and I can't be mad. Because somewhere inside me I know it was right. *tear* I just feel like I have no control over anything in my own life. I want to be me again, I want to be happy, stress free, bouncy and excited about everything, high on life. Give me a week or two and I'll be up and running again.

I get to see my twin on Friday it's about the only thing left that I have to look forward to.

I don't want anyone to think that this was a "guilt" post, or that I'm looking for attention, I just needed to let it out and get it off my chest. I'm glad I have you guys for friends.

~Crying~