Did you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do, how you do it, or what anyone else says, it's just never going to be good enough? I just can't seem to shake that feeling today. I've been thinking a lot about society and how people are so socially unacceptable. Am I unacceptable? Do I fall into societies trap, and avoid people who are "different" from me? I've come to realize that I will never be the Lorax, because not everyone wants my help. In fact I'm not sure of one person who truly does. I've had a great couple of days, but I feel like in the end I was a complete and utter failure. Sometimes I wonder what my purpose is what am I suppose to do? Am I suppose to be a great lawyer, or president, will I become a four star general? What is the reason for my existence? Sometimes I really feel like I have no existence, I have no purpose. I'm the puppet that people fall back on and depend on time after time. I know that sounds bad, but it isn't ment to. Sometimes I think that I'm ment just to help people out. That "the people" are my existence. I've had people tell me I can and people tell me I can't. In the last few days and I don't know what to believe. I need someone to tell me they believe in me and mean it. I want to know that they mean it. I want to feel it, to know that it's coming from somewhere that no one can make up. I want to feel loved, I want to be needed and cared for, because someone wants to not because they feel like they have to to impress me. I know I'm a bitch, but that's who I am. I know you can get more flies with sugar then you can vinegar, but vinegar at least keeps the morons away. Guys usually tell me that I'm intimidating. I don't know. I guess with ship out day slowly approaching I'm getting more and more nerved up. I'll sleep and see how I feel in the morning.
~Unsure of myself~
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