Sick to my stomach

I don't know what to do. I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that it's not going to be fixable. I keep replaying the whole situation in my head. I wouldn't have done anything different and that's for sure. Something deep in the back of my mind said it would be best to hit him. So I did. I'm amazed that my mom didn't freak out. Like I totally saw her ripping me a new one. She saids it happens and while I probably could have been more careful, I did what I had to do. Wow. I can't stop looking at these pictures. My mom get's mad and says I shouldn't beat myself up over it. It happened. Now I know, I won't do it again. ***Knocks on wood*** It's so hard to see 12 grand just sitting in a pile. It's my baby. So many memories of marching band and youth group. I don't want people to think I'm unsafe. I think I'm a pretty safe driver. It was a bad situation. I'm so hurt. Not physically, just emotionally. I guess it was the perfect ending to the worst week of my life. ***And for all you out there who don't know me.....THAT'S SCARSASM!***

~Drained~